Today, after lunch, I was looking at the blacked curtains and wondering if the sun was out. I miss the sun, but my eyes can’t bear the light. Not these days. Now I sit in bed, and Rahul covers me in crushed red velvet, and watches me with caffeine brimmed eyes. It’s all very crimson; his feelings and my missing flush. If he takes my breath away, lately I haven’t noticed. But it’s soft nonetheless. Even if it does feel like a bloody shroud. But I was wondering about the sun. Like the mother of three daughters, I thought about it. If it missed me and that one day in California. Actually, it was Irvine. I remember because of the signs to the shopping center. The strip mall. Whatever it is they call them in America. The infinite ways to spell freedom. I was driving in the suburbs, between the hills I would be climbing at sunset and the pool I had sat by all morning, looking for a specific bagel shop. They had the best spreads. Almond cream cheese with a flowering of honey. It’s all I wanted, that day in the sun.
I hope it misses me like I miss Tom. I hope it doesn’t miss me like Rahul’s mum.
